The Eloquent Page at Alt.Fiction 2012

This weekend Leicester played host to the sixth annual Alt Fiction event. Mrs Cheesecake and I were there all day Saturday and had a great time sitting in on panels, chatting to any one who would listen, and chilling out in the bar.

I managed to sit in on in three panels throughout the day. The topics covered were Genre TV, Horror, and Comics. Insightful stuff, and it offered a lot for me to think about. I’m certainly going to try expanding my reading horizons based on some of the items discussed. Mrs Cheesecake, meanwhile, attended sessions on the business of writing, and how to write a novel in an hour.

Ten Random Things that I learnt at Alt.Fiction 2012

• The idea of Downton Abbey with Zombies has potential. Someone please write this and then make it into a TV show. I would happily read and also watch. See you’re guaranteed at least one viewer already.
• I must try to remember that if I am going to make comments at any panel try not to drop the F-bomb so regularly. Kids don’t copy Uncle Pablo – swearing is not big and not clever.
• Mark Chadbourn is proud winner of “Most Disturbing Introduction to the World of Comics” ever.
• I was delighted to discover that I am in fact God of Cake™. How did I come to this revelation? It appears that if I sit in one place for any length of time homemade baked goods will find their way to me.
• Disappointed to learn that the person I thought could be my book reviewing arch-nemesis is spectacularly nice, and therefore can’t be a target for my wrath. Damn you Erik Lundqvist *Shakes fist angrily at the sky* Damn You!
• At one point over the course of the weekend I may have committed myself to wearing a kilt to Alt Fiction next year?
• I finally managed to actually speak to an author who am a bit in awe of and did not make a massive ass of myself (I think). Admittedly I may have been rambling a bit but she was terribly nice about it all.
• Much like last year Adrian Tchaikovsky’s beard remains an object of dark brilliance. (I really should probably read one of his books shouldn’t ? I mean all portents suggest, that based on my fascination with his beard, I’d probably enjoy his work. What do you mean ‘you can’t choose an author based solely on facial hair?’
• Drinks at Alt.Fiction are significantly cheaper than at Eastercon.
• Certain hotel room televisions have the hitherto unknown ability to turn themselves on at 2.30am without any prompting whatsoever.

Once again this year I was fortunate enough to meet some fantastic people. Unfortunately I can’t name them all because, and this is my single criticism of the entire event, there were no name badges. Those I can name however I shall – so without further ado and in no particular order, it was splendid to see – @VCLinde, @Fiskerton, @Chadbourn, @ctjhill, @erik_lundqvist, @MarkEWest, @RenWarom, @MyGodItsRaining, @LouMorgan, @WillHillAuthor, @KimLakinSmith, @Dellakin_smith, @AlasdairStuart, @KTScribbles, @AnneLyle and @Hagelrat. As I said there were others I spoke to but I’m not great at remembering to ask names or offering mine in return, that fault is entirely mine. In a nutshell, if we talked it was a genuine pleasure and please feel free to follow either the site Twitter – @TheEloquentPage or my own personal and slightly more sweary Twitter – @PabloCheesecake.

Alt.Fiction is an incredibly friendly convention and a great event to attend. I enjoyed myself immensely and look forward to next year (even if I have to wear a kilt).