Twilight of the Dragons by Andy Remic
Andy Remic , Angry Robot , Fantasy / September 7, 2016

Please note Twilight of the Dragons is a direct sequel to The Dragon Engine so it is highly likely that this review may contain minor spoilers if you haven’t read that first. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya! During a recent dwarf civil-war deep under the Karamakkos Mountains, the magick-enslaved dragonlords have broken free from centuries of imprisonment and slaughtered tens of thousands throughout the Five Havens before exploding from the mountain and heading in fire and vengeance for the lands of Vagandrak. Two once-noble war heroes of Vagandrak – Dakeroth and his wife Jonti Tal, an archer and scholar, the Axeman, the White Witch and a Kaalesh combat expert find themselves in a unique position: for they have discovered the ancient dragon city of Wyrmblood, and a thousand unhatched dragon eggs. Dakeroth and his companions must work with their enemies, Skalg and the Church of Hate, in order to bring down the dragonlords and save the world of men and dwarves. But there is no bartering with these ancient dragons; for they seek to hatch their eggs and rebuild the cruel Wyrmblood Empire of legend. I’ll begin this review with a warning. Those of you delicate disposition probably don’t…

The Dragon Engine by Andy Remic
Andy Remic , Angry Robot , Fantasy / August 30, 2015

Five noble war heroes of Vagandrak get drunk one night and sign a contract – to journey to the Karamakkos in search of the Five Havens. There, it is written, there lies untold, abandoned wealth and, more importantly, the three Dragon Heads, legendary jewels claimed to give unspeakable power and everlasting life to those who wield them. But the Dragon Heads aren’t what the adventurers think they are, and the world has not encountered their like in many, many generations! A new Andy Remic novel is cause for much merriment here at The Eloquent Page. Here is an author who is consistently reliable when it comes to action-packed, adult-themed fantasy. I’ve been reading his work for years now, and when The Dragon Engine appeared on my Kindle I dived in with gusto. Though set in the same world as The Iron Wolves and The White Towers this follows a completely different group of heroes. If you haven’t read those books then you won’t be at any disadvantage. That said, there are a few nods to both novels that eagle-eyed existing readers are likely to spot. One of the things I always enjoy about Andy Remic’s writing is his vivid characterisation….

The White Towers by Andy Remic
Andy Remic , Angry Robot , Fantasy / June 3, 2014

Please note The White Towers is a direct sequel to The Iron Wolves so it is entirely possible that this review may contain something akin to spoilers. Read on at your own peril… Vagandrak is broken, and a new threat has arisen that threatens to defeat even the mighty Iron Wolves. The twisted, deviant Elf Rats have gathered in the toxic realm beyond the White Lion Mountains… swiftly they invade the troubled land of Vagandrak, killing for profit and pleasure. The now-disgraced Iron Wolves are the realm’s only hope, but there’s a problem: they’ve been sentenced to death by the insane King Yoon for the dark sorcery in their blood. In the mountains of Zalazar lie the White Towers, pillars of legend said to contain the Heart of the Elves. The Iron Wolves must journey north to steal the Heart, and purify the evil in the land, but the land belongs to the Elves – and they won’t give it up without a fight! It’s a universal truth that when one evil falls, another will rise to take its place. Orlana the Changer is gone. The Iron Wolves have dealt with her and her army of mud orcs in their…

The Iron Wolves by Andy Remic
Andy Remic , Angry Robot , Fantasy , Horror / January 1, 2014

Thirty years ago, the Iron Wolves held back mud-orc hordes at the Pass of Splintered Bones, an led a brutal charge that saw the sorcerer Morkagoth slain. Now, a new terror stalks the realm. Orlana the Changer, has escaped from the Chaos Halls and is building an army, twisting horses, lions and bears into terrible, bloody hunters, summoning mud-orcs from the slime and heading north to battle the mighty region of Vagandrak where, it is said, the king has gone insane…  General Dalgoran searches to reunite the heroes of old for what he believes will be there finally battle. But Dalgoran discovers the Iron Wolves are no longer the heroes of legend, and they might just be more dangerous than the invading hordes…  Since their heroic heyday the various members of the Iron Wolves have fallen, and in most cases they have fallen pretty far. Drug abuse, psychopathic acts of violence, gambling (find more details here)and pit fighting are just a select few of the various vices on offer. I like this approach. Too often in fantasy heroes appear utterly indomitable, and it just gets so damn boring after a while; those holier-than-thou types with not a single chink in…

Andy Remic sets his sights on corrupting our youth!
Anarchy Books , Andy Remic , News / June 12, 2012

I don’t do a massive amount of news posts on The Eloquent Page but when I do I like to guarantee that they will make any reader go Wwwwhhhaaaattt? in the style of Moe the bartender from The Simpsons. Today, it appears, is no exception. Press Release – Andy Remic, Orbit, Angry Robot & Solaris Books author writes his first children’s novel… That’s right! Andy Remic, sword champion, chainsaw warrior, bunny ninja, often described as“The Rock Hard Nutter of SF” and “The Tarantino of Fantasy” and author of 14 novels, has written a loveable fluffy cuddly children’s book entitled ROCKET CAT, about, surprisingly, a cat with a rocket pack. Out 1st July 2012 from Anarchy Books in paperback, EPUB and KINDLE formats. ROCKET CAT Tiger Puk the ginger tomcat meets his new true love, the gorgeous kitten Libby Twinkleye. But when evil Redcap Goblin Katcats – Sooty Tailbite, Fang Whiskertwist and the terrifying killer, Claw Pawtangle – steal her away for their master, Chimera of Niffle Heim, Tiger must make a choice… To lie in the sun purring and washing his fur, or… to dismantle a sports car and build a rocket pack? Tiger breaks out the spanners, and in a…

An Avalanche of Anarchy Books News
Anarchy Books , Andy Remic , News / March 21, 2012

Since January things have been mysteriously quiet, some would say suspiciously so, on the Anarchy Books front. I was working on the assumption that Andy Remic was busy completing his crazed experiments in attempting to create an author who would work for nothing and required minimal supervision. Turns out I was wrong…   PRESS RELEASE April 6th, Good Friday, is also Good Anarchy Books Day! We’re releasing not 1 – not 2, but 7 (YES SEVEN!) new novels, and for a limited period we’re giving away our fabulous anthology VIVISEPULTURE for FREE!  Our new releases are New York Blues by Eric Brown (hardcore SF heavyweight!), A Jar of Wasps by Luis Villazon (whom you may know as a technical writer on PCFormat, MACFormat and TechRadar.com, so he certainly knows his tech SF [digital] onions!),  Silversands and The Last Reef by Gareth L. Powell (rising star of contemporary SF), the gentle, beautiful fantasy Fynoderee by Alexander Caine-Duncan, and last but by no means least, Young Punks: A Tale of Anarchy in the UK, a fabulous oral history of growing up as punks in the 70s by BAFTA short-listed film director Paolo Sedazzari. And just to add to the fun, we’ll also…

Vivisepulture edited by Andy Remic
Anarchy Books , Andy Remic , Fantasy , Horror , Sci-Fi / January 6, 2012

Zombie gunfighters, insane cherubs, government sanctioned torturers, bright orange snot and steam-punk thugs are just a few of the delights you’ll find amongst the pages of the latest short story anthology from Anarchy Books. It contains twenty-two, yes you read that correctly twenty two, short stories that range from the sublimely horrific to the ridiculously evil. At the princely sum of just eighty-nine pence that works out at roughly four pence per story, damn good value in these trying economic times. The collection begins with the following advice – …Vivisepulture is not a read to be taken lightly. No. You must dim the lights, envelop yourself in a calm, quiet, brooding atmosphere; maybe pour yourself a stiff sherry or a single malt; prepare for transportation into bizarre Other Realms; and hope that YOU, Dear Reader, never succumb to the act of vivisepulture… Inside you’ll find that there are a plethora of quirky stories to enjoy. Some of my personal favourites are listed below. Rotten Cupid by Ian Graham  – A man suffering from a broken heart finds himself in a fight to the death with Cupid. Is it just the booze, or is there something far more sinister going on? You…

Get Yourself Some Free Anarchy!

I do hope everyone is having a relaxing festive season, I know I am. Some new reviews on the way next week but until then how about a public service announcement from the dark forces behind the rather splendid Anarchy Books. I’ve added in a link to the original reviews for the titles I’ve read. Hopefully that will help you make an informed decision. Personally I’d take em all! Press Release – Anarchy Books – FREE BOOK PROMOTION – 29.12.11 That’s right, Anarchy Books have a very special New Year gift for all you lucky shiny new Kindle owners. During the next 4/5 days over the New Year period, a selection of Anarchy Books titles will be offered completely FREE! So if you fancy any of the following novels, get yo ass over to Amazon and stock up your Kindle with Anarchy for the New Year…. Participating titles: GIG (Mik and Kim) by James Lovegrove Monstrocity by Jeffrey Thomas New York Nights by Eric Brown Rain Dogs by Gary McMahon SIM by Andy Remic Serial Killers Incorporated by Andy Remic The Black Seas of Infinity by Dan Henk The Office of Lost and Found by Vincent Holland-Keen   All free! Have a HAPPY ANARCHY NEW YEAR!!   www.anarchy-books.com

New Short Story Collection from Anarchy Books
Anarchy Books , Andy Remic , Horror , News / December 17, 2011

All the reviews for 2011 are done and dusted but I thought I would share the following press release that dropped into my inbox this morning. A review will follow in early 2012. Vivisepulture edited by Andy Remic & Wayne Simmons Welcome to our anthology, a collection of weird and bizarre tales of twisted imagination by Neal Asher, Tony Ballantyne, Eric Brown, Richard Ford, Ian Graham, Lee Harris, Colin Harvey, Vincent Holland-Keen, James Lovegrove, Gary McMahon, Stan Nicholls, Andy Remic, Jordan Reyne, Ian Sales, Steven Savile, Wayne Simmons, Guy N. Smith, Adrian Tchaikovsky, Jeffrey Thomas, Danie Ware, Ian Watson and Ian Whates. Artwork by Vincent Chong. The anthology is dedicated to the late Colin Harvey, with great affection. In the tradition of Poe, Kafka, Borges and H. G. Wells, this collection of weird stories are written with the primary drive of presenting twisted deviations of normality. Whether it’s the deviant factory workers of Neal Asher’s Plastipak™ Limited, the pus-oozing anti-cherub of Ian Graham’s Rotten Cupid, the acid-snot disgorging freak of Andy Remic’s SNOT, or Ian Watson’s alternate zombie-crucifixion, each story will drag your organs up through your oesophagus and give your brain a chilli-fired beating.   FOCUS ON – •…

The Eloquent Page – 2011 in Review

2011 has been another great year for books. First off a few stats – I have managed to read eighty-two novels which works out at over six and a half books a month. After a swift and very rough calculation that works out at approximately 6,150000 words. Some were bad, some were good and some were even great. I thought it would be nice to round off this festive season with a little bit of review. Firstly, my books of the month January – December 2011. There is a mixture of new releases and others that have been around for a while. Each and every one was a genuine pleasure to read, and I recommend them all heartily. Jan  – Point by Thomas Blackthorne Feb – Vegas Knights by Matt Forbeck Mar – The Heroes by Joe Abercrombie Apr – Vampire Warlords by Andy Remic & Serial Killers Inc by Andy Remic – I dont feel too bad about a tie here as both books are by the same author (prolific sod that he is) May – Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs Jun – The Watchers by Jon Steele Jul – Tourniquet by Kim Lakin-Smith Aug – Outpost by…

Upcoming Titles from Anarchy Books
Anarchy Books , Andy Remic , General / November 13, 2011

The following press release dropped into my mailbox today and as I’ve enjoyed and reviewed a couple of Anarchy Books previous releases I thought I woud pass this info on. ANARCHY BOOKS PRESS RELEASE  Saturday 19th November is a date for your diaries, with Anarchy Books releasing not one wholesome SF novel, but two! First comes New York Nights by SF Heavyweight, Eric Brown. “New York 2040 is a city of the lost. So, a good place to work in Missing Persons. But business is not so good that Hal Halliday can forget his sister, burned alive when she was a child. Now, only VR offers the chance to bring her back. The future may yet allow Hal to live in the past – if he can survive his next job…” Described by Peter F. Hamilton as “the name to watch in SF“, and Brown’s novel HELIX described by Stephen Baxter as, “a classic concept – a built world to dwarf Rama and Ringworld – a setting for a hugely imaginative adventure. Helix is the very DNA of true sf. This is the rediscovery of wonder”, this first digital release of New York Nights is available as a PDF, EPUB or MOBI format, for the low price of…

SIM by Andy Remic
Anarchy Books , Andy Remic , Sci-Fi / August 25, 2011

Meet Justice D, a Justice SIM umbilicated since birth who killed his own mother. Used by GOV as a hardcore merciless killer hunting down rebs in the dregs, Justice D has little emotion. His biggest hobby is upgrading his armour, weapons and augmentations, taking mandrake narco and listening to groovy groovy MM. For decades now, humanity has been colour-blind, a disability inflicted – so GOV believes – by a disease named HRG/Canker and carried by all animals across the planet. As the scientist Cantrell discovers the causes for Canker, so GOV begin a global culling of all animals in order to save Humanity… On a patrol in the dregs, Justice D is saved by a cat which he calls Emmy. He soon learns to love his cat, until GOV discover his secret… and send Battle SIMs to shut him down… I don’t believe it. He’s only gone and done it again!  One week after I review the latest Anarchy Books release, Monstrocity by Jeffrey Thomas, and another is already lined up for release. I can only assume that High Anarchy Overlord, Andy Remic, keeps these poor, slightly befuddled authors chained to a word processor in a windowless room somewhere demanding that…

Vampire Warlords by Andy Remic
Andy Remic , Angry Robot , Fantasy / April 22, 2011

They came from the North, and the land fell. Kell’s resistance is driving the fiends from the land. But now a far greater power has come into play. Please note this review contains some minor spoilers if you have not read the first two parts of The Clockwork Vampire Chronicles. I have thought about this long and hard and I have come to a shocking conclusion – I hate Andy Remic.  Why? Because he is just such a supremely talented sod. He has proven that he can turn his hand to science fiction, horror and fantasy. As an aside – I have a sneaking suspicion that he is attempting to become the king of all genre fiction. Every time I think he can’t possibly top his last literary effort he goes ahead and does just that. Recently I read and reviewed Serial Killers Incorporated, and was impressed with its dark brutality. A scant few weeks has passed and he has yet another novel ready to assault the senses of an unsuspecting public. The latest addition to his ever-growing canon of work, Vampire Warlords, is the third book in The Clockwork Vampire Chronicles. This novel picks up the story in the…