In the iconic film Back to the Future, Marty McFly travels from the 1980s to the 1950s, changing the path of his parents’ destiny. Now fans of the movie can travel back even further to the 16th century, where the Bard of Avon unveils his latest masterpiece: William Shakespeare’s Get Thee Back to the Future! Every scene and line of dialogue from the hit is recreated here, with authentic Shakespearean rhyme, meter and stage directions, and with jokes and Easter eggs for movie fans and Shakespearean buffs alike. By the time you’re finished reading, you’ll be convinced that Shakespeare had a flux capacitor of his own, and traveled to our era so he could pen this time-tossed tale. Greetings fellow bibliophile, tis I, Pablo Cheesecake with another exploration of all things literary.  There art rare times when reviewing the latest manuscript of a wordsmith that gives me the opportunity to flex mine own creative muscles. Today, for the first (and likely only time) I present to you a critical missive appraising the latest tome of one William Shakespeare*, Get Thee… Back to the Future! Without a shadow of doubt, most amongst the assembled throng will have a passing fore-knowledge of…

In the 1990s, heavy metal band Dürt Würk was poised for breakout success — but then lead singer Terry Hunt embarked on a solo career and rocketed to stardom as Koffin, leaving his fellow bandmates to rot in rural Pennsylvania. Two decades later, former guitarist Kris Pulaski works as the night manager of a Best Western – she’s tired, broke, and unhappy. Everything changes when she discovers a shocking secret from her heavy metal past: Turns out that Terry’s meteoric rise to success may have come at the price of Kris’s very soul. This revelation prompts Kris to hit the road, reunite with the rest of her bandmates, and confront the man who ruined her life. It’s a journey that will take her from the Pennsylvania rust belt to a Satanic rehab center and finally to a Las Vegas music festival that’s darker than any Mordor Tolkien could imagine. A furious power ballad about never giving up, even in the face of overwhelming odds, We Sold Our Souls is an epic journey into the heart of a conspiracy-crazed, paranoid country that seems to have lost its very soul…where only a girl with a guitar can save us all. I’m old…

Please note Countdown City is the direct sequel to The Last Policeman. If you haven’t read the first book in this series then this review will likely contain spoilers. Got it? Good, now forward to the end of the world.  There are just 77 days before a deadly asteroid collides with Earth, and Detective Palace is out of a job. With the Concord police force operating under the auspices of the U.S. Justice Department, Hank’s days of solving crimes are over…until a woman from his past begs for help finding her missing husband.  Brett Cavatone disappeared without a trace—an easy feat in a world with no phones, no cars, and no way to tell whether someone’s gone “bucket list” or just gone. With society falling to shambles, Hank pieces together what few clues he can, on a search that leads him from a college-campus-turned-anarchist-encampment to a crumbling coastal landscape where anti-immigrant militia fend off “impact zone” refugees.  Countdown City presents another fascinating mystery set on brink of an apocalypse–and once again, Hank Palace confronts questions way beyond “whodunit.” What do we as human beings owe to one another? And what does it mean to be civilized when civilization is collapsing…

The world is about to end – would you investigate a murder?  An asteroid is about to collide with the Earth in six months time, and wipe us all out. Would you give up your life and go of to fulfill your ambition, take solace in drunken pleasure, live in fear, or solidly carry on doing what you do? Detective Hank Palace faces this stark question, and as others walk away from their jobs he carries on. A murder has been committed, and it is his job to solve it – problem is, none of his colleges believe it is a murder, and neither does the coroner – just Hank’s instinct, and in a city that has a dozen or more suicides a week even that might be wrong. What’s the point in solving murders if we are all going to die anyway? As Hank investigates further, undercurrents begin to surface –who was the victim obsessed with the asteroid? Did he know something about it that the rest of us don’t? Is there a conspiracy afoot? In a world where politicians have run of to the Bahamas for one last sun-drenched beach holiday, where the US Army runs internment camps…

Sleep Tight. Susan and Alex Wendt are the prefect couple in search of the perfect brownstone – and they find their dream house in the heart of Brooklyn Heights. Sure, the landlady is eccentric, and the handyman drops cryptic remarks about the previous tenants. But the rent is so low; it’s too good to pass up. Big mistake: Susan soon discovers the brownstone is crawling with bedbugs – or is it? She awakens every morning with fresh bites, but neither Alex nor their daughter Emma has a single welt. An exterminator searches the property and turns up nothing. The landlady insists the building is clean. Susan fears she’s going mad – until a more sinister explanation presents itself: She may literally be confronting the bedbug problem from hell. On the face of it Susan and Alex have it all. He is a professional photographer with good prospects; she is an ex-lawyer who has given up her career to focus on her passion for painting. They have a toddler called Emma and are blissfully happy with their lot in life. The only fly in the ointment is that their current residence is just a little bit to small for them all to comfortably…

A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. A strange collection of very peculiar photographs. A horrific family tragedy sets sixteen year old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. As Jacob explores its abandoned bedrooms and hallways, it becomes clear that Miss Peregrine’s children were more than just peculiar. They may have been dangerous. They may have been quarantined on a deserted island for good reason. And somehow – impossible though it seems – they may still be alive. Jacob has grown up listening to his grandfather’s tall tales about the island he lived on during the Second World War. These stories about monsters and strange children with powers were a delight to Jacob as a youngster, but as he grew up, he became disillusioned with his grandfather’s flights of fancy. When his grandfather unexpectedly dies, Jacob finds himself drawn back to these stories. He decides to undertake a journey to try and separate the truth from the lies. There are some fantastic characters in this novel and normally I would take great delight in describing them to you, but in this case I…

By way of some sort of explanation – In an effort to expand the my reading horizons I’ve decided that it was high time read something that was not a novel. Quirk Books very kindly provided what I think is some sort of self help/how to guide? The results, I think, speak for themselves…. Pirates, by nature, aren’t terribly literate. As a consequence, no book can hope to fully prepare the pampered, modern-day layabout for the lusty life of a pirate. This book,however, will put you on the right path – the path to adeventure, treasure, glory, mystery, and, every so often, the bottom of a barrel of rum. Avast me hearties, tis I – Captain Pablo Cheesecake on the good ship The Eloquent Page. Being as I am the very definition of a modern-day layabout I knew that this book would assist in answering all my pirate related questions. At may surprise all of ye unworthy swabs but since I was knee-high to a Jolly Roger I have always been a fan of all things piratical. I still remember fondly the first time I marveled at Burt Lancaster swashing his buckle in The Crimson Pirate. Since that day, I have…

They thought space was the final frontier – they were wrong. Recently I spent a bit of time examining the phenomenon that is the mash-up novel. I reviewed the zombie/Jane Austen trilogy that begins with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Overall, the experience was a lot of fun and it was nice to read various authors attempts to bring two dramatically different genres together in such a full on way. For my next foray into the world of mash-up novels I decided to stick with zombies but bring things bang up to date with something that is set this century rather than at the turn of the nineteenth. Night of the Living Trekkies by Kevin D Anderson and Sam Stall brings finds the hordes of undead taking on their most awesome foe yet, Star Trek geeks. I should point out, in the spirit of full disclosure, I would probably fall into this category. Jim Pike works at a large hotel in downtown Houston. As an ex-serviceman, after two tours of Afghanistan, he wants nothing more than to quietly go about his life acquiring as little responsibility as possible. His sister is coming into town to attend Gulf Con Star Trek…

For those that have not read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies as well as Dawn of the Dreadfuls please note that this review contains some minor spoilers. The final novel in the Pride and Prejudice and Zombie trilogy is published today. Dreadfully Ever After by Steve Hockensmith picks up the story four years later. Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy are now happily married and living at Mr Darcy’s country estate, Pemberly. Elizabeth has hung up her flintlock and katana, as it is improper for a married woman to be involved in dealing with ‘the stricken‘. Everything should be perfect, she has the man of her dreams and leads the life she has always wanted but instead she feels unease with her life. She is unsure if she wants to start a family and misses her warrior lifestyle. During a long country walk Darcy is attacked and bitten by a zombie and the death of Elizabeth’s husband seems all but inevitable until Darcy’s aunt, the formidable Lady Catherine De Bourgh arrives. She has heard rumours of a possible cure but before Elizabeth can investigate further Lady Catherine demands Darcy is placed in her care. It falls to The Bennet clan to try…

Journey back to Regency England – Land of the Undead Dawn of the Dreadfuls by Steve Hockensmith is a prequel to the hugely successful zombie/Jane Austen mash-up novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Set five years before the first novel, it follows the five Bennet sisters as they are trained in the deadly arts of the warrior, in order to combat the undead menace that plagues England. The reader learns of Oscar Bennet’s part in ‘The Troubles’ and how, as a younger man, he made a promise to raise all his children as warriors, irrespective of their gender. It is a definite plus point that the reader gets to learn more about the character of Mr Bennet. In Pride and Prejudice and Zombies he is very much a secondary character but in the prequel his story is brought to the fore. He is head of the family and still, just about, in control of his wayward daughters. Once again Elizabeth is the main female protagonist but in this case she is only eighteen and much less sure of herself. Mr Darcy is not yet on the scene so she finds herself torn between the enigmatic Master Hawksworth, and a man of…

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.” Recently I wrote the following statement while reviewing a book – I have often suspected any novel can only be enhanced by the addition of rampaging hordes of undead. The publisher Quirk Books, originators of the mash-up novel, were obviously listening and sent me some books that would allow me to test that theory. Over the next few days I’ll be posting reviews of a few of them. The first novel I read is Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith. Before I begin, I have an admission to make, I have to be honest and admit that I have never read any of Jane Austen’s work. After discussing the book at length with my wife, who has read Austen, I am assured that the majority of the plot remains the same as the original text. The five Bennet sisters are all of marriageable age and their mother is keen to ensure that they all marry well into wealthy, well to-do families. The second eldest daughter, Elizabeth, is headstrong and independent. She refuses to bow to convention and…